.

Ehh, lets get to the good stuff. I'm going to talk about a few of the
guys in my life. (Lol@ few) okay so by now you all know that I'm just
this fabulous single gal...and I must say, my dating life is fucking
wacked out and entertaning so I've heard. Ok so for starters I'm NOT
using real names and I'm sure a few of my "guys" will come across this
blog, I'm Not telling you which guy you are.... you should be able to
tell anywho!! OKAY....

So, I have 4 main guys in my life; Mr. Suave, john, steve, and pablo.
(Lol remember these names aren't real)

Mr. Suave is a handsome, smart, funny, nice, god loving man. (Good on
papers, right?) well the thing with Mr. Suave is... we met through his
ex which was an ex friend of mine, he lives a gajillion miles away from
me, and I really don't want to ruin the great friendship that we have.

John is a guy I recently met. he's one of the most interesting people
I've met in a few years, he's attractive, crazy like me, and we have a
'chemisty'. I'm madddddd comfortable with him... for example, I can sing
stupid ass songs to him, have a deep convo, or sit on the phone in
complete silence and it would be totallly chill!! But the issue with
him is...he's not allowing himself to be the way he wants to be because
we arent physically close to each other, because of course he lives in
another state (notice a pattern? Ill explain that later)

Steve......I've known steve for a little over 5 years now and I've
always have a strong sexual attraction towards him and vice versa....we
are VERY open about it lol. But within the last year we have been
entertaining the thought of an relationship. BUT that wouldn't happen
until I graduate from college or relocate to the place I plan on moving
in 2yrs a little eariler than I planned. And to be perfectly honest I'd
MARRY steve in a second! So when I see him dating other chicks I get
jealous lol.....he does the same with me. Ugh! Its a mess.

And pablo....pablo is EXTREMLY attractive I mean he's my type to a T, as
far as apperance goes. He lives in ohio, all my friends want me to be
with him, and he is really supportive of everything that I do. Well the
problem with pablo is he really isn't a man of his word...he will fill
me up with "I love you's", "I want to be with you", and all kinds of
lovey dovey shit, but at the end of the day it seems like a whole lot of
talk because he never makes a fucking move! And he has a kid....lol oh
and we don't really have a natural chemistry.

And then there's a shit load of exboyfriends trying to holla and new
guys that suck ass.....

Ok so ill finish this up laterrrr

Applebaum--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Applebaum--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

There's nothing like curling up in bed, eating cake, and watching sex
and the city re-runs.

see the single life isn't so bad....is it?

Hmmmmmmm?

Applebaum--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

So thursday I went to the santogold concert.........The crew (bella,
brittany, and my sis deandra) and I arrive around 8ish (arriving
fashionable late of course) so its totally chill Ehhhh, maybe around 150
people tops...we walk right up to the stage...take a few hot pictures
(ill upload them once I make my way to a computer) and then we mingle a
bit... I found myself conversing with this adorably cute white guy, he
was totally hipster he had the cutest smile and he even offered to buy
me a drink *boom* I have my man candy for the night so he ends up
staying near me with his group of friends....we dance, laugh, take
pictures...yakno fun shit.

So diamond vs. Low take the stage they did iight nothing major....but
knowing in the back of my mind Trouble Andrews and A-track would be
preforming next, I stayed right there and danced my little head off as
if I were a die hard diamond vs. Low fan. So my sister is having a good
time and when trouble andrews comes to stage she goes to a major high
once she laid eyes on his lead guitarist, so she MAD flirting with the
guy. well, trouble and atrack were fucking Bomb! By the time they both
are done with their preformances my head is killing me, (because
remember I'm sick) my hot white guy has disappeared into the crowd (I
guess he noticed me flirting with trouble), and my little sister says
she needs water.....so to make a long blog shot my sister goes for water
ends up being gone for way to long (I'm thinking she's with the
guitarist) so we head off to find her and security tells me she passed
out so they called ems........

2hrs later.......
The crew and I end up at the hospital for the rest of the night. We
missed santogolds preformance and all other potential hook-ups for the
night (lol)

My sister is fine... she just fainted.......

But yeah.....that's my life lol
Applebaum--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

So my pc is dead. Ehhhh, sad story I know...well anywho, looks like ill
be updating my blog using my sidekick which is actually not so bad. So
this is a test............
Applebaum--
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

I really love this. ha!

So today I got word that my uncle died. The weird thing is that I’ve known for a while that he’s been sick…. I just haven’t had the mental strength to go and see him. (I haven’t been in a hospital since my dad died in 2004)

Well, once we got word everybody was going to head up to the hospital to be with my aunt…I was instantly faced with hesitation, but I decided its time to let go of my fear of whatever memories might come back to me when my dad died. So im in the process of getting dressed and (I’ve been looking crappy appearance wise for the past week) my mom jokes that I should stay home because I look like crap…. I could have ignored her but I was kind of relieved that I had a reason not to show because I don’t think id be able to set foot inside the place anyway.


It’s so hard to say goodbye to a loved one while still dealing with anxiety built up over the years towards my experience in the hospital with my dad. I know my uncle would have understood whole-heartedly…. but when will I be able to let go and let the past stay...the past?


On that same note, im glad my memories of my uncle were all good…smiling, laughing, and in good health.


R.I.P
To my dear uncle.

I just ordered.....





‘The power of now’ by Eckhart Tolle

Fucking AMAZON EXPRESS DILIVERY! I can’t wait. Read it with me homay?

Yeaaa soooo this is the beginning of my blog journey…im sure you’ll be hooked, because my life is filled with “drama” for less of a better term. Ehhhhh, ok so lets jump right in.


So, school doesn’t start for another 5months, so im left with all this free time on my hands and I have no idea what to do with it…im literally ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE! So far I’ve read 3 books…all catering to following your dreams and how to stay focused on them even though we live in this FUCKED up world. Well any who, the last book I read was ‘Russel Simmons: Do You! 12 laws to access the power in you to achieve happiness and success’ I know the title is a little O.D. but It was actually a very good read.

So as you all know Russell is big on Yoga! In the book he was really pushing that readers should at least try it. So I started a yoga class and im only on day 2…im completely IN LOVE with it…I highly recommend it! Taking the class alone really opens you up to a whole new world of spirituality and I’ve never been the religious type. Hmmm, how can I explain the feeling??? Well, it gets you in touch with your inner-self. Ok ok I know you don’t wanna hear me yabbing about yoga.

So last night I had another Justin-less night lol No really.... They SUCK! Well anyways since I had nothing to do I decided to grab some ice cream and watch love movies. Because im CORNY like that…then I realized while watching 'defiantly, maybe' love really is a BITCH…its like I watch all these unrealistic ass movies and I fucking get jealous of these non-existent people, its pathetic! Completely pathetic…but fuck it I guess. (Of course ill talk more on this later.)

Ehhh. Ill be back.