.

Ring ring
Me: hello!?
???: I was in the CVS by ur job so i left u something.
Me: WHO IS THIS??
???: bbwwhahahahha!
-click

So i go to my car and there is a naked doll lol that says "i get hot for andy" written in sharpie on her back, a pack of blue skittles (my fav), and a card that says....

Front: whenever i fart
Inside: i think of how much i love you.

Lmao

And in writing it says "I hope this made u smile! I miss my old andy, i hope you feel better"

ISNT THAT THE SWEETEST SHIT EVER!?!?!?!?

*tear
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:-)

Hello readers! Im in a good mood today! I dont know if its because all my hard work has finally paid off or because i reunited with my highschool sweetheart :-) lol or because the summer is right around the block!

Woot woot! Whatever it is im happy im in a better mood!
:-p

Random shit--are you following me on twitter!? Well you should be because apparently im hot shit in twitter land lol

www.twitter.com/aapplebaum

Im at work right now and im really wishing i was at home in my bed talking to steffffff :-( i get off at 8am so i have 1hour and 30min. Its like the last hour drags by super slow. Ehhh, i guess i cant complain to much, im laying down watching 'Love and Marriage".....didnt somebody from this show die? Christina applegate? Mmm i dont know.

Sooo being that the summer is approching my friends and i have made Thursday nights "friend night" lol basically we are going out every thursday! I wish i knew how to bbq (i know that was random) but i want to have bbq's more often! Oh! For the summer i took off all the last weeks from june to sept for all trips and out of town visitors! I wanted to go see NickieB first but E was talking about planning a road trip to NY and u know i never pass up a trip to brooklyn :-) so whatever comes first youll be sure to know! Also, i want to vist Chicago for the first time this summer, maybe in aug.

Ohhh and unfourtantly* i wont be able to spend the 4th of July in NY like i planned :-( somebody from my job already took the days off and two people from the same site on the same shift cant put in paid time off at the same time. Blah! Annnd last year she was preganat so she should enjoy her time off this summer :-)

Okay i ran out of things to talk about sooooo ill blogituplaterz!
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Sometimes I get upset with the impact I have on people, if that makes sense. Well I guess what I'm trying to say is that I get fed up with being placed so highly-- Its way to much pressure, sometimes I want to be the fuck up. (I'm not trying to sound like all mighty Andy) but my problem is I care to much! I'm one of those people who actually gives a fuck about the other person and very rarely do I base my decisions on how I'M feeling--which is in turn why they place me so highly and love me, because you don't get shit like that with regular people. Like for example; I stayed in a relationship that was totally one sided, it was literally ALL ABOUT HIM! his drama, what he did today, where he wants to go, how he is feeling, blah blah blah and I let that shit rock for a while but as soon as i needed him and I confronted him about it, he told me things were to stressful and bounced lol. Not only that I find myself in a lot of situations where people are saying things like "I'm suppose to put you before me?" and then I'm thinking in the back of my mind "I DO IT FOR YOU ALL THE TIME".

So now it has me feeling like--damn I kind of wish I didn't give a fuck about people.Because its almost second nature to think of somebody else and how they might be feeling before I even consider my own feelings (and this only applies to people that I love--like family and close friends).

But here is the thing, when I confront the people about this and they read the previous blogs I have written on the subject, they say I'm right but then turn around and ask me why have I changed and then try to convince me not to and they want things to go back to normal.

Either I'm going to change or I'm going to look at you in a completely different light, because its already fucked up that we are suppose to have a friendship, close bond, or relationship--whatever. and you can't give me what it is that i give to you. feel me? So its me changing or ending whatever it is that we have-- because if I don't do either, where does that leave us? Me putting you first yet again! smh to be honest I have been ending shit with a lot of people because I'm not just talking about one person here, I've been burned by a few with in the past few weeks by this shit.

Only one person has said sorry to me and you all know me--when somebody says sorry I'm quick to say "okay, its fine" but this time I couldn't even lie to him--I told him "Thanks for saying sorry but I'm not ready to accept your apology and I cant continue this friendship"


I guess all I can say is you made your bed now lay in it...to the people that I have cut off and changed towards I'm pretty sure your feelings are hurt by losing a friend but think about it this way--you got the good end of the stick imagine how I'm feeling right now. I honestly cant see how you guys did this "I ONLY THINK ABOUT MYSELF" bullshit because even though I have all rights to be pissed off at y'all I still find myself wondering if you're okay.

smh

So! Lol after days of being on my "break-up death bed" well not really days more like hours. Ive decided that im over it lol so im sincerly sorry for the last 3 blogs that i wrote being all emo and wack! Ugh im upset that i even let that side show.

So movvvviiinnnnggg onnnnn :-) if you havent noticed ive been staying really busy lately and part of that was because i didnt want to have free time to obsess over "him" but the other reason is because im preparing for the summmmmeeerrrr!! Woot woot! Lol big things are happening this summer; new car (i really want a mustang) new apartment, new wardrobe, and alot of trips and shit. Oh and a few people will be coming to vist meeee :-) starting with mr lovaaaaa lol :-) i cant wait we are gonna have so much fun! And like a said a few others will be staying for weekends. So ive been working alot to support all this misc crap lol

Ohhh everybody cross your fingers for me! I really want this second job working at the bank part-time. If i get that job ill be so good! Like able for afford my dream BMW good! So keep your fingers crossed and you should if you want me to come pay you a visit! Lol because that extra dough comes in hand.


Ehhh well right now im over my mom's house, i was o.d hungry so i made a quick stop over here to eat--and now im bored, i finally got a night off of work but i have nothing to do but catch up on sleep. Which is a good things because i have wack ass bags under my eyes! Can you say going to the spa next friday? Yerrrrr.

Well im about to leave here...

Blogituplaterz
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Im feeling a little better now that ive spent almost a whole day with Rico. :-) its good to have a friend that knows all the right things to say no matter what situation im in. Rico ill love u until the end of time! You've been there for me when nobody else has and you have my trust and a spot in my heart forever!

Nickie thanks for texting and checking up on me to make sure im okay--i love you sooooo much!

And last but not least *dramatic music plays* lol Justin, thanks for always staying in that room with ur dixie cup in hand. Honestly i dont know where id be without you.


Okay not that the public thank you's are out of the way......im in lazy mode right now--am i the only person who gets out of the shower, lays across the bed to air dry, and gets up like 10min later and gets dressed? Lol ehhh, whatever! So im in for another long ass work shift! I go in tonight @ 12am i get off at 9:30am then @ 4pm i have to go in at another site, i get off there @ 9pm then i have to go back to the main site at 12am and i get off @ 9:30am

Bullshit? If this isnt grinding i dont know what is.
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Somebody said that to me last night--somebody that i loved said that to me.

Bullshit right? And what makes it even crazier they said it after they apologized for treating me fucked up.

Well, thats all behind me now, that person is so dead to me i need a new word for dead.

Me changing has already set a few people off and i guess thats how im going to seperate the real from the fake--another person i thought i was friends with said "if your only thinking about yourself and you wont be there how u have been there i dont see the point in this friendship"

:-| like forreal?

What the fuck is going on with people!? Its like people look at me like im some type of robot or some unemotionless being! Im so over shit--like u assholes have really sent me into shut down mode. Im aware i dont show my emotions and what state of mind im in but i say it right here right now, you fucks have really broken me! Im really fucked up over this shit!


But id like to say thank you to the two people who have been there and the one person who is trying to make things right! Thanks for allowing me to vent, cry, talk, and for the advice. You have no idea how much it means to me! THANKS for allowing me to be human!
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So now that my life situation is at an all time low--it makes perfect sense for me to blog! Yay for you nay for me!

What been going on you ask? Well for one im having family issues, work issues, money issues, friendship issues, and a whole mess of other bullshit!

Oh wait, one aweeessoommme thing did happen yesterday and im so not gonna go into details but somebody did something really unexpected and it made me soooooooooo happy!

:-D

Well anyways, its 4pm and im working at another site until 10pm then i have to be at my regular site at 12am and i get off at 9:30am--im hating it!!! I just cant wait until i get a second job so i can get a hold on shit and get ready to move into my new place in July.

Ehhhhhhh oh i know that i said id be vlogging by now and i still am just wait! Lol

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I know its been a while and its not because i havent had anything to blog about. (Trust me its hella shit going on) but today is a wack day and i really need to vent because the people id usually talk to are sleep and shit *rolls eyes*

So the point of this blog? Selfish ass people! Last night i was in a situation where this chick did nothing but think about herself and she TOTALLY fucked up my night and thats only where it begins. But thats not even the main reason as to why im so fucking mad.

The thing is time after time this chick needs help from me, advice from me, this, and that. I have no problem being that because not only is it my job but i dont give a fuck about being there because i love her. But im o.d pissed because i cant even get a fraction of that shit out of her.

But it doesnt end there this was like killing 2 birds with one stone. So i tried to talk to another person about it (a REALLY close friend) and this nigga ended up making it worse and said something along the lines of "thats between yall blah blah blah im not taking sides blah blah blah stop thinking about it"

:-|

Like seriously, im going through so much in my life right now (only my cousin knows whats really going on with me) and i find it that im trying to make everybody else happy and feel good and be there for them but NOBODY gives me that in return--nah i take that back, one person is there.

I know im the "go to person" in alot of situations--but people are failing to realize Andreia is a person who has a heart, feelings, and everything else. What is it gonna take to get something out of you so called "loved ones?"

I wonder how niggas would feel if i just stop giving a fuck all together? Like if you came to me with something you're upset about i just said something like "stop thinking about it" nobody wants to hear that shit when they are going thru something no matter how big or small it is, if im making a big deal out of it, obviously im upset and emotional about it...fucking talk to me!!!!! Duh! Tell me something!

I guess its time for me to flip shit and start not giving a fuck about people. Like i should have just told the chick "oh well ur not fucking up my night so just deal with it" then id be any selfish asshole, right? Smh

Fuck everybody
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